To repair my broken heart,
But I showed you scant contrition
When your own one fell apart.
I watched you make arrangements
At the cinema and gym,
Cancelling engagements
You had meant to share with him.
I implied the depth I cared for you
In a convoluted way.
A truth confused, impaired for you:
Just enough to make you stay.
Of course, we shared some pleasure
In these intervening times.
Still, what dark in equal measure
Has been worth my secret crimes?
I took your love for granted
And, to my eternal shame,
Left an honest man supplanted
By my reckless, hollow game.
In those heady days together
We were the envy of the school,
And for then – if not forever –
You were quite my April Fool.
(c) Andrew Halsall Smith 2018
